Feasting upon the word

Before anyone reads this post, I must say that I wrote this because I wanted to record the feelings I was having. This is for myself more than for anyone else, but you are welcome to read if you are interested.

So I am super inconsistent when it comes to studying the scriptures. I get in the habit of reading every night, but then I wont and then I will, etc. But to be completely honest, I think more days in my life I have not done personal scripture study than the amount of days that I have. In the past I have tried reading for a certain amount of time or reading a chapter a night, or reading about a specific topic. They were okay, but to be honest, I got bored. I would more often than not find myself reading the words but thinking of something completely different in my head about something that happened that day or something. It was still better than not reading, but it wasn't ever anything I looked forward to. In Primary, we have been asking the children to do their personal scripture study at home. I have been really feeling I needed to do better at this, especially since I am asking the children to do it.

Recently I read this post on my friend April Loveland's blog. She took a picture of her scripture study and it included a notebook for notes, a pen, etc. She said she loved to study the scriptures and she had used tons of different study guides. As I was reading it, I was thinking, why can't I love to read the scriptures like that? Then I remembered when I was home in Washington back in August/September, my mom was cleaning out a bunch of her old boxes and I found a Book of Mormon study guide I had bought either for seminary or one of my institute classes at Dixie. It didn't look like I had used it much, but I thought it might make studying the Book of Mormon more interesting. After reading April's post, I went and found it and decided to start really studying the scriptures. Let me tell you it is incredible. I don't get through much a day, but I really really feel like I am learning so much! It feels like such a better use of time, because instead of simply reading the text, the study guide offers questions and things to think about while I read. It gives definitions and insight to what the scriptures are referring to at different points. I am honestly LOVING it and I can finally say that I am hungering and thirsting to read them! Here is my setup:

I wish so bad that I had more time to do it. Unfortunately it requires way too much concentration to do while the girls are awake, and much of the time the girls are asleep is spent cleaning, paying bills, catching up on chores, etc. that I can only do a little each day, but it always leaves me wanting to learn more. I can honestly say that I know that the Book of Mormon is a gift from God, given to us through his prophets. When I read it, I can feel the good, warm feeling given to me by the Holy Ghost. It was amazing to read of the prophecies given to Nephi, 600 years before Christ's birth telling of Christ and his life and the things that would happen (1 Nephi 12):

31And he spake unto me again, saying: Look! And I looked, and I beheld the Lamb of God going forth among the children of men. And I beheld multitudes of people who were ^asick, and who were afflicted with all manner of diseases, and with ^bdevils and^cunclean spirits; and the angel spake and showed all these things unto me. And they were ^dhealed by the power of the Lamb of God; and the devils and the unclean spirits were cast out.

32And it came to pass that the angel spake unto me again, saying: Look! And I looked and beheld the Lamb of God, that he was ^ataken by the people; yea, the Son of the everlasting God was^bjudged of the world; and I saw and bear record.

33And I, Nephi, saw that he was ^alifted up upon the cross and^bslain for the sins of the world..

I just finished reading in 1 Nephi 13 which is God's revelation to Nephi about his descendants (the american indians) and how God would lead Christopher Columbus to find America. How God would help the Americans to win the revolutionary war to gain religious freedom, because they had humbled themselves before him and how God promised to spare some of Nephi's descendants from the Gentiles. Nephi is also told that in these days some of the plain and precious truths would be taken from the bible at the hands of the devil to confuse us in the last days.

20And it came to pass that I, Nephi, beheld that they did prosper in the land; and I beheld a ^abook, and it was carried forth among them.

21And the angel said unto me: Knowest thou the meaning of the book?

22And I said unto him: I know not.

23And he said: Behold it proceedeth out of the mouth of a Jew. And I, Nephi, beheld it; and he said unto me: The ^abook that thou beholdest is a ^brecord of the ^cJews, which contains the covenants of the Lord, which he hath made unto the house of Israel; and it also containeth many of the prophecies of the holy prophets; and it is a record like unto the engravings which are upon the ^dplatesof brass, save there are not so many; nevertheless, they contain the covenants of the Lord, which he hath made unto the house of Israel; wherefore, they are of great worth unto the Gentiles.

24And the angel of the Lord said unto me: Thou hast beheld that the ^abook proceeded forth from the mouth of a Jew; and when it proceeded forth from the mouth of a Jew it contained the fulness of the gospel of the Lord, of whom the twelve apostles bear record; and they bear record according to the truth which is in the Lamb of God.

25Wherefore, these things go forth from the ^aJews in purity unto the ^bGentiles, according to the truth which is in God.

26And after they go forth by the ^ahand of the twelve apostles of the Lamb, from the Jews ^bunto the Gentiles, thou seest the formation of that ^cgreat and abominable ^dchurch, which is most abominable above all other churches; for behold, they have ^etakenaway from the gospel of the Lamb many parts which are ^fplainand most precious; and also many covenants of the Lord have they taken away.

I love these verses, because people often do not believe me when I say that I also read the bible and believe in the bible. I believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly. Also, people who will not read the Book of Mormon don't realize that the Book of Mormon is all about Christ and testifies all about him as the savior of the world and supports the bible and by reading the Book of Mormon and believing it only strengthens my testimony of the bible. I don't see how some people think the Book of Mormon is evil or are scared to read it, when it is only testifying of Jesus Christ. One last scripture that spoke to me personally is

37And ^ablessed are they who shall seek to bring forth my ^bZionat that day, for they shall have the ^cgift and the ^dpower of the Holy Ghost; and if they ^eendure unto the end they shall be ^fliftedup at the last day, and shall be saved in the everlasting ^gkingdomof the Lamb; and whoso shall ^hpublish peace, yea, tidings of great joy, how beautiful upon the mountains shall they be.

This verse stood out to me because it is basically saying that it is my responsibility to get the word of truth to everyone. Basically this verse is saying that in order to be saved at the last day and live with the Savior and my father in heaven again, I need to endure to the end in righteousness and share the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have the hardest time being a missionary. It is number one the hardest thing for me. If anyone asks me about my religion or shows interest I have no problem sharing with them about it and bearing my testimony of the truthfulness of it and the happiness it brings. However, when it comes to inviting people to church, or offering information without first being questioned, I am so worried of offending people. I pretty much only share information when I am asked. I am not so bold as to offer it to anyone. I get annoyed when people ask me if I want to go to their church because I believe that I already have the truth and it makes me very happy and I know in my heart it is true. Why would I want to make anyone else feel that way? I just do not want to be overbearing or appear self-righteous or judgmental. Then I read this verse today (same chapter):

8And the angel spake unto me, saying: Behold the gold, and the silver, and the silks, and the scarlets, and the fine-twined linen, and the precious clothing, and the harlots, are the ^adesires of this great and abominable church. 9And also for the ^apraise of the world do they ^bdestroy the saints of God, and bring them down into captivity.

(note: the great and abominable church is not an actual church, but the church of the devil or anyone who is an enemy to Christ and not following him)

so I feel like worrying about what other people will think is desiring the praise of the world instead of the praise of the Lord. However, I think you still have to consider people's feelings. Also, I need to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost, because timing is everything. I have already offended a few people I really really care about in the past by offering them something (the gospel) that is the most precious thing in the world to me. I feel like it is such an important thing that it is selfish not to share it, yet, it leaves me vulnerable because if people get offended they sometimes begin to attack this thing that is most precious to me. So I still have not reached a conclusion on this topic. Any thoughts respectfully given are welcome! Thanks April for inspiring me to really study the scriptures more!